Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Out With The Old...

I started a new job yesterday, and it has re-energized me a bit. Asking myself why I have a little more spring in my step made me re-visit an old realization that I haven't thought about in a while. I like change. I think I crave it sometimes. I even get excited about change that most people would want to avoid for fear that it might disrupt their comfort. I can't get comfortable.

I think when you grow up in the chaos that I grew up in, you become conditioned to need the chaos. My only constant was change, the only consistent was inconsistency. Nine schools in twelve years says alot. What most people would consider smooth sailing I consider a rut.

So I have decided that I need to be more intentional about being content. I have a great life. I should celebrate it more. When I start feeling restless, I should pray and thank God for the pretty long list of things that are going great in my life right now. Sounds simple, right. Then why is it so darn hard to do?

Here's the bottom line. I've never been more confident than I am now that I am precisely where God wants me to be and that I am moving towards His will. I am listening more than ever, and letting go of my agendas more than ever. But here's the next step - I need to be okay with the possiblilty that God wants me right here for the next 30 years. Maybe He does, maybe He doesn't, but if that's His plan then I need to be content with that plan. That won't be easy for me, being a "change-aholic", but God wants what's best for me, and He has FAR more perspective than I do.

So contenment is the word today. God is working the plan right now. I may not feel like anything is happening, but He doesn't need to check in with me to make sure that I'm okay with the plan.

I am.


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